Ref: Pages 28 and 29 of the text by Robert Olmstead
1. Write succinct, precise sentences that describe a procedure or task you know well.
At the door I meet Carn and his crew and direct them to their tables. For Carn I set a special seat apart from the rabble. I bring their drinks and skirt around his groping men. Flagons are drained and the boasting begins, I smile and nod along eagerly. After several trips back and forth to the bar with a bawdy story between each one, he’s ready for bed. I escort him to his suite.
2. Now describe what cannot be seen. Start with one of the senses.
I linger outside the door. I hear him grunt and his boots plop onto the floor. He falls heavily into the bed and it creaks with his landing. Before long he’s snoring loud enough I can hear him from the bar.
3. Continue, telling what your character would not do.
Every week he comes in with his crew, with new tales of battle and conquest. I’m not going to stay here, filling mugs and dodging the grasps of drunken sailors. I’ve heard enough tales of other people’s glory. I won’t spend the rest of my youth with these aging barmaids. He won’t leave me behind. I won’t let him forget me.
At the door, I meet Carn and his crew and direct them to their tables. For Carn, I set a special seat apart from the rabble. I bring their drinks and skirt around his groping men. Flagons are drained, and the boasting begins. I smile and nod along eagerly. After several trips back and forth to the bar with a bawdy story between each one, he’s ready for bed. I escort him to his suite.
I linger outside the door. I hear him grunt, and his boots plop onto the floor. He falls heavily into the bed, and it creaks with his landing. Before long, he’s snoring loud enough I can hear him from the bar.
Every week he comes in with his crew, with new tales of battle and conquest. I’m not going to stay here, filling mugs and dodging the grasps of drunken sailors. I’ve heard enough tales of other people’s glory. I won’t spend the rest of my youth with these aging barmaids. He won’t leave me behind. I won’t let him forget me.