Elements of the Writing Craft. Part One: Storytelling, Lesson Twenty-three: Into Dramatic Moment

Ref. Pages 29 and 30 of the text by Robert Olmstead

  1. Rewrite the first sentence of the lesson. Go from ten years to last week.
    I knew her before she was a legend. Ten years ago, we played in the same creek when she was just a gangly little girl. Last week she returned from campaigning in the south. I looked right at her and didn’t recognize the girl I once knew.
  1. Rewrite this as a reunion.
    I’ve thought of her often these years she’s been away. Once she sought my attention, and I played coy. Now, I wonder if she’ll even remember my name.
  1. Think about the way we see, the way we focus. Write three sentences in the example of the lesson.
    It was impossible to see anything in that throng of bodies. People flowed into the village street and ebbed back again to clear the way for two long columns of uniformed men and women. Each looked a bit like the last as they passed, half-obscured by the grime of a long march and rough accommodations. Until at last, she marched past me—lean, short-haired, and dauntless. Erin Duffy had returned.

I knew her before she was a legend. Ten years ago, we played in the same creek when she was just a gangly little girl. Last week she returned from campaigning in the south. I looked right at her and didn’t recognize the girl I once knew. I’ve thought of her often these years she’s been away. Once she sought my attention, and I played coy. Now, I wonder if she’ll even remember my name.
It was impossible to see anything in that throng of bodies. People flowed into the village street and ebbed back again to clear the way for two long columns of uniformed men and women. Each looked a bit like the last, half-obscured by the grime of a long march and rough accommodations. Until at last, she marched past me—lean, short-haired, and dauntless. Erin Duffy had returned.

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